If you’re an Aries and you feel I never gave you a chance?
Chances are you have done an “I told you so” but you have absolutely no impulse control…
If you’re a Taurus and you feel I never gave you a chance?
You’ve probably helped yourself to my fries 66 different times when I’ve offered to buy you your own and YOU GET MAD when I offer because you think I think you’re broke (Hit dogs tho….)
If you’re a Gemini and you feel I never gave you a chance?
We legit can’t figure out which one of us is Pinky and which of us is Brain when realistically we could just take turns.
If you’re a Cancer and you feel I never gave you a chance?
Your cooking isn’t as good as you think it is and you can’t clean your own house.
If you’re a Leo and you feel I never gave you a chance?
I probably got tired of you thinking you ruled the world but you too stuck up to pump your own gas.
If you’re a Virgo and you feel I never gave you a chance?
My dad is a Virgo. He put shag carpeting on a non-enclosed screened in patio and vacuums it once a week. It’s my daddy issues thinking you’re gonna be equally as nuts.
If you’re a Libra and you feel I never gave you a chance?
You already got somebody and I can barely resist your flirtations as is.
If you’re a Scorpio and you feel I never gave you a chance?
I’d have to admit that I’m not above hiding the body in a freezer or a 1994 Dodge Spirit that lost its brakes, cause you ain’t getting to me first.
If you’re a Sagittarius and you feel I never gave you a chance?
Look, as much as I love a road trip, I love being credit card debt free better. Also y’all legit the worst kissers and huggers, so that says shameful things about the potential fuckin.’
If you’re a Capricorn and you feel I never gave you a chance?
You are still ‘both sides’-ing capitalism while being more broke than everyone above combined. Get off of the penny, Scrooge McDuck.
If you’re an Aquarius and you feel I never gave you a chance?
You’re boring as hell. Full stop.
If you’re an Pisces and you feel I never gave you a chance?
All the maps, GPS, Signs, Scents and Psychics can’t make you make sense to yourself, so how in the hell do you think you’re gonna make sense to me?
(Combine these with your Big 3 – Sun, Moon, and Rising to get a clearer picture of my ‘nah, I’m good.’)
